Friday Fictioneers: The Last Stroke

This week for Friday Fictioneers the following photo prompt was provided from Jennifer Pendergast who blogs over at elmowrites.wordpress.com. If you’d like to add your own take on the prompt or just read some others, please visit here.

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At first, I had nothing in response to this stunning photo. I thought I should write something historical, perhaps of the native people in America, Rochelle would. Alas, my knowledge of history is not as deep. I purposely do not read any other takes on the prompt before writing my own so I start with a clean slate. Truth be told, I am pressed for time as I am to pack my bags and head out to the beach this weekend (finally). So, I used a free writing exercise to just write down what came to me for ten minutes. I then went back and deleted the superfluous, then I agonized over word choice, then I exhaled, stated my mantra “wabi sabi” and let it go and linked up.

The Last Stroke

I paddled the choppy dark waters as she shivered and coughed under the thick blanket. The water pushed me forward even as it pulled me back. She murmured my name in her delirium. I paddled on navigating the meandering channels under the gaze of the moon. There was a change in the air. I ran the canoe aground at an isolated spot. I held her against my breast as she released her last breath. I gathered stones nearby and built a cairn to mark that we had been there. Carrying her in my arms, I waded into our watery grave.

word count: 100

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11 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneers: The Last Stroke

  1. Dear MTO,

    Pretty amazing for a ten minute exercise. Good job.

    I really don’t know a lot about history either but the internet is a wonderful place to research.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

  2. Beautiful! Hauntingly beautiful. “I gathered stones nearby and built a cairn to mark that we had been there. Carrying her in my arms, I waded into our watery grave.” Two powerful sentences.

  3. Your story is deep, sorrowful, and well written. But my twisted mind couldn’t help but produce a scene from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. “I’m not dead yet.”

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