This is a two-part story. The first part is my response to this weeks trifecta writing challenge. The second part is an addendum in response to the prompt at Write on Edge.**

This week Trifecta gave the following challenge:

We are asking for a 33-word response to the following snippet:

The first time I saw. . .

Here’s the catch: all of your 33 words must be one syllable each.  We’re going low-brow on your this week.  Or not.  Can you class it up under these restrictions?  Give us your best.

To clarify, we are giving you 5 words.  We want another 33 from you, for a grand total of 38. – See more at:


the first time I saw me was a mad time the song and dance came to an end struck dumb and lame I stood out from the dark bare and raw just a short time then I ran.


Through the trees I ran out into tomorrow. I tripped and stumbled along the way. Once in the clear, I covered myself in clothing and the trappings of society. Put on the heavy mantle of expectations. I skirted myself and never did I look back.

“The past is a foreign country: they do things differently there.”
~ L. P. Hartley: The Go-Between (1953)

14 thoughts on “Exposed

  1. I think it’s interesting that the narrator obviously feels the constraints of society’s expectations but still moves forward with the decision to be constrained. Lots to think about in such a concise piece.

  2. I’m glad you posted both parts together. I was drawn to the second one (probably because the word count afforded more description.) I like the image of running into tomorrow, weighed down by what others think.

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