Ask me to list 10 things that I can do and I can’t do it. It’s too difficult. I draw a blank and my brain starts to hurt. It’s not like I haven’t tried to do things, I have, over the years I have tried over and over again, with very little success. My head is full of useless trivia. I’d say I am a jane-of-all-trades, and master of none, but not even that is true. I don’t have a trade at the moment. Well, except motherhood, but I’m not even to good at that one much either. At least, my kid doesn’t complain. Now, ask me to list 10 things I can NOT do and that is a difficult task for another reason. There are so many I can think of, my brain is on overdrive and I don’t know how to weed it down to ten!
1. I can’t list 10 things I can do, or even answer a simple question like what’s my favorite color. I constantly draw a blank. Then three days later on the line at the supermarket, Yellow, will pop into my head out of nowhere.
2. I can’t write non-fiction. I try, every week I try, but every time, out pops a poem. I don’t know why. Who does?
3. I can’t swim. I spent the summers of my childhood running through the sprinklers on a fire hydrant and at the local park. All the while shouting with glee.
4. I can’t start a conversation. I turn to ice when I have to break the ice or ask someone a question. I thought I was shy, but anyone who knows me says, I am not shy. These days I prefer the term “introverted”. Yet, once you get me started I can’t shut up!
5. I can’t knit a sweater, crochet a bunny, or sew a dress. I have taken many, many lessons and I can knit and purl, crochet a chain and I own a sewing machine, but I have not completed anything (or anything I’d show anyone).
6. I can’t whistle. I can attempt one but it falls flat.
7. I can’t skip. Thankfully skipping is not in that much these days, particularly at my age.
8. I can’t play video games. Back in the day, pinball was my game. I wasn’t a wizard but I was ok. But my son just loves playing Wii with me because I am so easy to beat.
9. I can’t do a headstand. I have been doing yoga since the 80s and I still can’t master this one. Many instructors have worked very hard with me to no avail. I can’t do a cartwheel either, or hang upside down. I think it’s a mental block.
10. I can not manage time or prioritize my tasks. I will always be at least 15 minutes late, the laundry will pile up the mail will be in piles, the work undone and I won’t know where to start.
Honorable mentions: sleep, manage a classroom, carry a tune, decorate a cake, remember the lyrics of any song, balance a checkbook, climb a tree, ride a skateboard, lose 10 pounds, drink ONE glass of wine, Not eat a piece of cake, remember what I was just doing a minute a go….
so, what can’t you do?
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