This week at Mama Kat’s I chose prompt #5.) Find a photo of yourself taken 10 years ago and display it on your blog along with a current photo. How have you changed since the day that photo was taken?
The photo of me in 2003 was taken in Cyprus at the start of the new year. It was taken with a good old-fashioned camera. The photo in 2013, like all my photos now, was snapped from a smartphone. Back then, we had to wait until we returned home to send out the film to be developed. Remember that? There was no instant share to facebook back in those days.
I had gone to Cyprus to meet my husband’s family and friends after we were married in 2001. Married! I had gotten married? Didn’t I say never, wasn’t I my own woman and never going to settle down, but set out to see the world? Well, you can blame therapy for that. I married my best friend who had stated that “marriage didn’t fit his lifestyle” (chortle). So two friends who never were getting married got married to each other. And you know what? It wasn’t so bad, it wasn’t scary at all. Well, except the part about the long-ass commute I took on once I married Mr. Obscure and moved to New Jersey. My 10 minute drive became 2 hours and taking the bus was no longer an option. I must have really loved Mr. Obscure in order to move to Bergen County, NJ!
So there I was a married lady in her 30s settled down, happily travelling without any kids and enjoying myself. I was on winterbreak from my job as an ESL teacher in a NYC public school. Another Never; I had said I was never going to teach. I quit smoking and ran marathons. I had brunch with friends after races on Sundays. I never wore glasses, I always took showers every morning put on make up and went out to the movies, to eat, and for drinks.
Since then my husband convinced me since we tried marriage and that turned out all right, the next step was parenthood. Oh, that one was a tough one. The getting pregnant part I mean. At first it was fun – the inverted pillow, the different positions. But day after day it became frustration and failure. I mean the simplest thing in the world right? Have sex, get pregnant. Any woman can do it. Well, apparently not me and I wasn’t alone. The fertility clinic was standing room only. After 4 years of poking around down there, cutting me open, injecting me with dyes and hormones and a million sonograms we became parents.
So here I am now a stay-at-home mom in her 40s. I have one ornery cantankerous six-year old boy whom I just adore. We moved to Baltimore 2 years ago for Mr. Obscure’s job. I actually like Baltimore, much better than NJ, but hell if it doesn’t scare me! And I’m from NY. I do not want to go to work. After becoming a mom, I get it why women take a lesser position and give up their jobs. You want to go to work, get up, get dressed, talk to adults, do something outside the house, get a little pocket-money. But not something that is going to take time and energy away from your family. Ok, I haven’t figured out what that is yet, but I am NEVER going back to teaching. And I mean NEVER.
Some things never change: I still hate my shapeless hair, still struggling to lose those ten pounds, still hoping to get my life organized one day, still blow my top off when I get overwhelmed, still want to explore the world just not by myself anymore. I no longer wear contacts. That’s my son’s fault after I gave birth my eyes became irritated. Red, puffy, watery eyes are even less attractive and more cumbersome than glasses! I always wear glasses now, try to take a quick shower at least once a week, don’t bother with make up, dvds from netflix sit by my tv for weeks, and I stopped running. Well, I stopped running for excercise but it seems like I am still always running around in circles. That hasn’t changed much. I’m searching for a good place for brunch in Baltimore without much success. And going forward: I need to start taking more photos!