If humans were dogs, my mother would be a b*tch. So would I for that matter. Well, we would be literally, but my mother and I are not bitches. That word connotes an insult that has a far range: being applied to more than just females these days. While both my mother and I can be whiny, complaining and overbearing neither of us are immoral women with malicious or spiteful intent. Neither of us is narcissistic and we definitely are not anyone’s servant. So, what kind of dog breed would we be?
I took some online quizzes to find out. OK, so online quizzes are not very valid nor reliable, but most quizzes aren’t anyhow. Just for fun, I filled out the multiple choice answers on three different Dog Quizzes to find out what kind of dog I am. Multiple choice is hard, because often more than one answer may seem true or often, none at all. I took the liberty of filling in my own answers with the assumption my mother would be the same breed as me. Why? Unfortunately, my mom isn’t around to answer the questions for herself and I wouldn’t dare to answer for her. We had similar personalities and we look just like carbon copies which leads me to believe we would be the same breed.
According to the online quiz at Quizilla (quizilla.teennick.com) I am a grey hound. Taking it on looks alone, I would be hard put to agree on that. Greyhounds are elegant, sleek fast beauties. While my mother and I aren’t bad looking, we’re more ordinary, clumsy kind of gals. I run, but at a slow pace. My short legs and big body shuffles more than sprints. No one would ever look at us and say “greyhound.” Yet, the greyhound temperament is quite apt: “a reserved soul but a boisterous spirit.” That is spot on. My mother was, and I am , a quiet, unconfident strong woman who does like to have a good time but not be the life of the party. I think this is how I will describe myself from now on. I am neither an extrovert nor shy, but a reserved soul with a boisterous spirit.
The next quiz at Modern Dog Magazine (moderndogmagazine.com) said I was a basset hound. How cute is that? An image of a Basset Hound had flashed through my mind when I was trying to picture my mom as a dog. Big eyes, big ears, cute face and short legs. That’s us. And I do have an acute sense of smell. Modern Dog magazine describes the basset hound as warm, laid back and fun-loving. That is a very similar description to the grey hound except it leaves out the reserved part.
Warm, laid back, and fun-loving, you frequently march to your own (very slow) drummer. And you come by your love for a good mystery honestly. You are, after all, a Basset Hound. (While you’re most famous for your nose, those droopy eyes would win anyone over.)
On dogster.com, I found out I was a Labrador Retriever. This seems most unlikely. While it is true we are loyal and like hanging out,we are intelligent and patient and forgiving; we are just not the high-energy athletic types.
As I said before, quizzes are unreliable and not very valid. Here we have three different answers from 3 different quizzes. They are fun and harmless. Of the three, I would choose Basset Hound. My mom loved a good mystery more than I do, but I do have an acute sense of smell as I said. I can’t even wear perfume it gives me a headache. With our big eyes and big smiles my mom and I loved to laugh. Unfortunately, there was never too much to laugh at, but we managed to find times in between the hard places. We complained a lot, but never bitched. We would howl at the moon, but never ask us to get your slippers. Get ’em yourself, what do we look like your b*tch?
inspired by Mama’s Losing it writing prompt
2) If humans were a dog breed, what would your mother be and why?